This blog has been out of commission for awhile, and I have no good excuse besides being terribly busy with work. In my mind, this isn’t the world’s worst excuse for not blogging, but I’ve missed you all terribly so I’d like to get back into the swing of it.

In the meantime, here’s what you’ve missed!

My two columns are fully up and running now, and I’m loving being a regular columnist. If you’re an artist looking for marketing help, my latest Handmade Success column talks about how to get more custom orders. I’m also running a sale on Etsy copywriting packages which has been immensely popular, and I forgot to tell you all about it. You can get a starter copywriting package for $99!

If you want to read about my underwear (or at least my underwear preferences), my latest Lingerie Addict column features my favorite picks for the Fall season (I almost feel like a real fashion blogger these days!).

Didy had his birthday on September 18th, and despite not knowing his real age we celebrated in style. He got two new shirts (one with pac-man characters on it) and a new Kong toy that he will probably destroy in a month. I usually run a sale for his birthday but had too many clients to get to it, so the sale to benefit the English Springer Spaniel Rescue America will probably be early next month.  In the meantime, Didy requests that you go check out their beautiful dogs so they can be as spoiled as he is.

Fall has brought a client explosion here, and I’m loving it. I get a lot of emails about what kind of clients I work with (lots of people assume it’s all artist clients), and I really work with a broad range. If you’re curious, here’s some of the clients I worked with over the break.

LGSciences does bodybuilding supplements in a natural and scientific way, and is a real standout in the field.

Mademoiselle  M is a jewelry collective from Quebec that makes amazing nature inspired pieces. I’m really excited about this one, because all my copy will be translated into French as well for the site.

Beso Designs makes gorgeous DIY wedding favors (and are fellow typography nuts). Nicole has even been featured in Brides Magazine!

Fondren Renaissance Foundation is my latest awesome non-profit client, and they’ve been fun to work with. If you’re into neighborhood/urban revival projects, you should check them out. Fondren has won national awards in that area.

I’ve also been working on two huge projects for clients (and one is a national campaign), but I can’t tell you about those yet. I will make sure to put them up on the blog after they launch!

What amazing things did you accomplish in August and September? Come tell me about them in the comments so we can all give ourselves a group pat on the back.

My latest column is up at Handmade Success today!

Here’s a quick excerpt to get you started:
For me, writing product descriptions has always felt a lot like writing an invocation. After all, product descriptions have the same purpose. You want your audience to feel a certain emotion as they’re introduced to the pictures of your product. If you’ve done your research right, this emotion will help convince them to click the button and buy your product.

Follow the lovely link to get the rest!

P.S. I’ve got a semi-secret way to get your whole Etsy (or other store) redone for $99 here. Grab these before they’re gone!

I’ve spent the last three weeks writing sales page or variations on sales page. I’ve also been reading lots of sales pages, both for clients and to check out new products coming out for the fall.

I have a lot to say about sales pages today.

1. Size matters (and why big is bad).

There are lots of people online proclaiming that the long form sales page is dead, and I really don’t think that is the case. I do think that we’re starting to beat it to death with incredibly long sales pages. If your sales page has ten sections and your potential customer has to scroll down four times to get to the bottom of it, then something is seriously wrong.

As an alternative, try embedding links in that take people to other pages, and grab their interest with your first page. That way, people can sort out what you’re actually offering, and take advantage of it when their head isn’t spinning from how much they’ve had to process.

2. Don’t announce that you’re not a sleazy marketer or that you don’t believe in those awful marketing tricks.

This really comes under the heading of “Show, don’t tell”. I know why people do this. Your intentions are good. After all, you really are a nice person who won’t take advantage of anyone. You only want someone to buy the product if it is right for them at this time.

The problem is that when you state these things upfront, people wonder why you feel the need to tell them. Most consumers assume that you’re not out to take advantage of them, so if you’re announcing that you must have something else going on behind the scenes.

Show that you’ve got the goods by writing a great sales page that offers a big dose of information and education rather than a bunch of tricks. Then, politely tell them where to click to get more of the same.

3. Speaking of clicking, you really do need to tell them where to do it.

I had a huge issue with this when I first started, because I assume people are smart humans who can figure out what a buy button is. It took me a few months to realize that it’s not about assuming that people are idiots, it’s about being helpful and giving them a way to continue the process.

If it feels awkward telling people to click here (and here, and here) then come up with some cute alternative phrases. You don’t have to sound angry and demanding about it, but you do need to give people direction. With the massive amounts of online noise we take in every day, giving people direction is the key to making the sale.

4. Don’t choke on the fairy dust.

Your individual style should be part of everything you do, but sales pages generally require a less extreme tone of writing. After all, you’re trying to get someone through a process, and turning up your style meter to 15 will just distract them.

Now, I’m not advocating that we all should be writing boring sales pages. I’m the queen of Batman jokes and French Musketeers and all kinds of things on sales pages. All you have to do is make sure that the fun wacky side of your sales page doesn’t overcome the serious side that has a job to do.

5. FIgure out how your customer speaks, and learn how to imitate it.

This is where copywriters have a real advantage over other people. To us, the same word can have ten different meanings when applied to ten different audiences, and we can easily write in different voices.

What words do your customers use? What do they mean to them personally? Are they scientific or emotional people? These are the kinds of questions I ask all of my incoming clients, because the small fiddly language details are usually what makes copy really sing.

Want copy that really sings for your business? Grab a free evaluation session with me, and we’ll talk about how I can help your business tell a better story.

Just wanted to post quickly and let you guys know that there is a preview of unit 3 of this class up at The Inspiring Bee today!

As usual, if you’ve got any questions about the course itself, just contact me. Otherwise, grab your spot before they’re gone!

I am the world’s least aggressive person.

I am polite to a fault (even when things piss me off), and when something goes wrong I pretty much assume it’s my fault. I have a theory that part of the reason I feel so at home in the South is because everyone here is like this. Ever seen a whole bunch of cars almost kill each other by trying to let all the other cars go through the four way stop first? Politeness is a road hazard here. I feel like a grumpy monster when I ask someone to move a little to the left, pretty please.

My politeness, for most of my life, has also been a personal hazard. I’ve missed out on all kinds of opportunities because I felt like if I was meant to have them, someone would just show up and offer them to me.

I had somehow skipped the lesson that if you want the nice opportunities to show up on a silver platter, you need to make your mark. In business, the two ways to do that when you start out are by asking people to do nice things for you and putting out a quality product on a regular basis.

I like eating, so I got good at the asking part. If you want to make your business grow and thrive, you should, too. Here’s three ways to present your ideas to people in a way that makes them want to help you, rather than relegate you to the circular file (or the gmail trash folder).

1. Act like a beginner.

Kelly Diels and I had this conversation awhile back where we both agreed we made bolder pitches when we were just starting out. It wasn’t because we were ballsier or hungrier than anyone else either.

We just had no idea who anyone was. Turns out that total ignorance can actually work in your favor.

I got my first big guest post when some guy posted on Twitter one night that he thought people might be scared to guest post for him. I (and if you know me, this is really predictable) got mad. After all, who was he to make statements like that? Did he think he was somebody? I offered to pitch him something, just to prove a point, and he accepted.

He was somebody. He was Michael Martine, and I discovered that he was a kind and generous man who really wanted to showcase new bloggers. I’ve now been on his blog twice, and have nothing but nice things to say about him.

If I had known who he was or even looked at the number of followers he had on Twitter, I never would have volunteered to guest post for him.

I also probably wouldn’t have a business today.

2. Start with a compliment (no lying allowed).

Bloggers have a spider sense for people who are fake fans. Mega bloggers have a fine tuned bullshit meter that goes off with the slightest tell.

When you email a blogger or an editor a pitch, start with a reason you love them or the site. Show them that you’re a reader, that you understand their audience, that you respect what they do. Try to do this in a way that doesn’t make you sound like you’re a 12 year old at a rock concert.

I’m going to give you two quick examples which will make you feel that any pitch you give someone will be better than at least two of mine.

Once upon a time, I called Naomi Dunford. I knew someone else who had done it, and the woman had her number on her website. One day my confidence got the better of me, and I managed to do it. I got her answering machine, and left her some incoherent message about how her online business school had changed my life, etc. It was pretty terrible. In an act of mental self-preservation, I mostly forgot about it.

Well, until she butt-dialed me one day. Yes, Naomi Dunford butt-dialed me at her hairdresser. I immediately tell her how much I love her and actually say that I’d like to be her when I grow up. So, now not only am I the potential stalker who left her a message on her machine, but I’m also an idiot fan-girl.

I wanted to die. I wanted the floor to eat me. But as I was wishing this, I managed to get out something like, “Urrrgh…I’d love to guest blog for you sometime prettypleaseplease?”

She said yes. I may have been slightly incoherent and unhinged, but the fact that I was a true fan got through loud and clear.

Let’s contrast this with a pitch I put together last month. It was for a big blog in the industry, and I was nervous. It wasn’t really about the size of the audience, just that I didn’t know where my writing met their style. But I pitched anyway. I sent in a great e-mail with my credentials and an idea that was right up their alley, and then I waited.

A few days later, I got back the e-mail equivalent of “I have to wash my hair.” I expected to be upset (after all, it might have netted me lots of clients), but I also couldn’t deny the validity of their position. I had no passion. I showed no interest in their platform. My quick email pitch showed all of that, even with all the polishing i had done.

Passion always shines through, even when you’re in the worst possible asking position.

3. Assign yourself a high value, and other people will believe it.

I know this sounds like fake it ’til you make it, but it’s a totally different idea. Faking is lying to yourself, and believing is a whole different thing.

It can be scary to email total strangers. The fear gets worse as you get higher up the business food chain, so to speak.  To do it with confidence and conviction, you really need to feel like you have something to give them as well.

If you’re pitching a guest post, make sure it’s something that their audience hasn’t seen. That way, you’ll feel good about giving them content they need instead of feeling like a leech.

If you’re pitching a joint venture, show off your skills. What can you do that no one else can do? What parts of the team do you fill in?

Conversely, don’t shoehorn yourself into stuff that isn’t your style. I know, the money can be good from that kind of stuff, but it isn’t worth it. At best, you’ll make some money and keeping having to do the same things that make you uncomfortable over and over again. At worst, you’ll end up out of your depth and miserable, and everyone will be upset at the end.

P.S. This advice counts for double when you use it to set prices or negotiate big jobs. Trust me.

P. P. S. For copy that gets you everything you ask for, contact me for a free half hour session + copy evaluation.

I spent yesterday setting up an affiliate program. Several pots of tea and minus several hairs, I have one.

This is a surprise to me because a year ago I would have said I didn’t do affiliate programs.

Which is sort of dumb, because I recommend other people’s stuff all the time for free. I’ve even been known to recommend products by people who aren’t my personal favorites if the products are good. I told myself it was about wanting to not leech off other people, but it really wasn’t.

It was about not wanting to deal with E-junkie, which frequently makes me want to cry (This sounds impressive, until you find out that doing taxes makes cry as well).

It was about being scared that it would be a ton of work for nothing.

It was about not wanting to look like I needed help, because I hate asking for help and will go to all sorts of uncomfortable extremes to lie and say I don’t need it.

Eventually (read: after more than a year), I had a pretty stunning realization. Affiliate programs are about way more than the payout. They’re about community, support, and giving your readers and fans access to things they wouldn’t find otherwise. Things that they love.

So what’s all this got to do with Captain Planet?

If you’ve never seen it, Captain Planet is the eco-friendly version of Superman. He’s got a bunch of planeteer sidekicks, and when they really need help they all use their rings together to summon him. Then together, they go and kick the polluting villain’s ass.

This is how we should think about affiliate programs. Not as some dirty money grubbing tech nightmare, but as a community opportunity.

Don’t believe me quite yet? Here’s three reasons why the right affiliate opportunities are a great thing to take on.

1. Affiliate marketing shows a deep and caring knowledge of your audience.

You shouldn’t be an affiliate for everyone, and you definitely shouldn’t base it on how large the cut is. Being a good affiliate isn’t about shilling someone else’s stuff for a profit.

The best affiliates are the ones who pick and choose the best opportunities for their audience. Who is doing stuff that is on the fringes of your territory? Would your audience like it? Who can fill in the gaps that you don’t cover? Those are the people you want to introduce to your audience.

Your audience will not only be impressed with your knowledge of other people’s programs, but they’ll see that you really care about what you present to them.

The results? Fans for life, and future customers for your business. Even better, customers who trust you and know that you care about them.

2. Affiliate marketing turns competitors into coworkers.

There are literally thousands of other writers on the internet. There are some really great ones out there, writers whose content I read while I kick myself for not being as good as them. It’s easy to start to hate people who you see as direct competitors, even if they aren’t quite in your niche.

It’s a waste of time and counterproductive. It also usually gets around the internet community sooner or later and creates awkwardness.

I’ll give you an example. Brenda Leifso is running a fantastic program for fiction writers and poets. Her classes are similar in structure to mine, and they’re at the exact same price point. She has a beautiful website, and no chipmunk cheeks in her headshot like I do.

I could spend a lot of time really hating her. I could hate her prices, or her class structure.

Except, most classes of this type are around that price point. And there’s a formula for what is built into them. Also, they deal with fiction and poetry, which my audience loves!

My last experience with poetry was being trapped in a classroom freshman year of college with a professor who looked like the witch from Hansel and Gretel, and had the largest collection of mugs with rude feminist sayings on them that I’d ever seen. I’m thrilled to never have to deal with poetry again.

I could team up with her and be an affiliate for a great program. I’d even avoid all those awful college poetry flashbacks.

All of the sudden, Brenda’s not my competition. She’s a coworker, which is a much nicer relationship to have with a near-stranger online.

3. Affiliate marketing is always a win-win situation.

At the very least, your audience gets exposed to something cool and new. At best, you get some money out of the deal and the start of a positive relationship with another business owner.

It works the same way if you’re the one running the program. Yes, I technically “give away” $100 of every sale I make, but I’ll make more sales with affiliates than without. I’ll meet bunches of new people who I wouldn’t talk to otherwise. I might even find out about products that I could help promote later to earn more money.

With our powers combined, we can all be happier, better connected, and a little bit wealthier through affiliate marketing.

P. S. You knew it had to show up somewhere, didn’t you? If you’d like to sign up to be an affiliate for my Writing Studio, please do so here! If you’ve got any questions, just email and we’ll get them sorted out.

Today I’m going to introduce you to the three books that will change your entrepreneurial life.

None of these books are specifically about copywriting.

That’s because copywriting really isn’t about writing. Yes, copywriters can string a good sentence together, but what really makes us stand out is our ability to see the big picture. To think like the customer. To distill a complex message down to a single sentence.

All of these books are by advertising geniuses who win awards for possessing just these skills.

I’ll start out with a spoiler: All of these books focus on simple advertising that is 100% gimmick free.  These books talk about lots of different mediums and techniques, but they all come down to that same lesson in the end.

1. Ogilvy On Advertising by David Ogilvy

This is the classic book on advertising. Ogilvy is the father of advertising for a reason. Ogilvy believed that research, discipline, and big ideas got results. He also believed that the needs of the client came first over your need to feed your creativity.

Here’s what I take from Ogilvy, after several read-throughs.

1. Know your client (even if that’s yourself), and know their customers.

2. Numbers matter. Do your research, get your data.

3. Don’t get overwhelmed with an idea. Keep it grounded in reality, no matter how devoted to the Big Idea you are.

2. Hey Whipple, Squeeze This by Luke Sullivan

If your’e going to read one really practical guide to writing marketing material, pick this one. Luke Sullivan tackles everything from how to stay creative to why you should get all the puns out of the way first (I really need to get on the bad pun thing). He even has some sections where he shows you all his tagline drafts. They’ll amaze you, both with how good they are and how he doesn’t consider them worthy pieces of writing.

Here are my takeaways from Sullivan.

1. There’s a sweet spot between creativity and effective advertising. Pointless wackiness and productive creativity are really different animals.

2. Bad advertising can make tons of money. Take a moral stand on your advertising, because not everyone does.

3. Can you summarize your brand in one word? If you can’t, your brand isn’t tight enough yet.

3. Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip and Dan Heath

This book isn’t about advertising at all, but it’s the best primer on simple storytelling that I’ve read.

Chip and Dan Heath have examined everything from urban legends to advertising to determine why ideas “stick” culturally. What they come out with is a simple formula to follow when you’re disseminating ideas, along with a huge amount of evidence that this approach really works.

Here are my favorite thoughts from the Brothers Heath:

1. People remember emotions above anything else.

2. Every great story requires a strong framework. After your audience has forgotten the details, the framework still sticks with them.

3. “Sticky” ideas aren’t just luck or culture, they’re made.

Looking for someone to write your own simple yet effective marketing material? Check out what my clients have to say about my skills!