So yesterday, I was at the Womens Entrepreneur’s of Conejo Valley luncheon. Where I signed up to be one of the guest speakers for the month. So, for ten minutes, I stood in front of a group of women business owners and entrepreneurs and talked about what I did for a living.
Ten minutes in front of a mic talking about blogging and social media, theoretically, shouldn’t be hard.
But if you hadn’t figured it out already, I’m a shy marketer. Like Holly. I’ve gotten stage fright and performance anxiety since I was a little girl and could be found hyperventilating back stage.
I’m also an introvert so that’s two marks against me already. So guess what I was doing that Tuesday morning before the event?
Hyperventilating.
Badly.
“What was I going to say? I’m going to get my words mixed up. I’ll freeze up. They’ll stare at me. They’ll think I don’t know what I’m talking about. That my business is a fluke and that I’m young and naive and–”
I was having a very big case of imposter fear: the fear that I’d be found out as no good, as not worth the services I offer.
So why did I go up anyway? I didn’t have to. I have a lot on my plate this week as I’m gearing up for a road trip on Saturday, so why did I add “feeling vulnerable speaking in front of a crowd of strangers” on my to-do list of burning things I needed to accomplish this week?
Because the week before, a nice woman had told me that what I had to say was something important for business women like her. That what I knew, other people should know. Particularly since I run into a lot of entrepreneurs who aren’t on the internet 24/7, who are just learning about the idea of social media and what blogging is. Who are confused, and a little lost about how to do their websites, and who need a friendly face to make it all sound less scary.
To tell them, it’s okay if you don’t get it. It’s okay if you’re confused. No one thinks less of you. You’re not a failure.
Sometimes when you’re about to embark on something new and you don’t get the hang of it right away, you think it means that you’re not cut out for it. You’re not a natural. You get frustrated. You feel embarrassed that other people are getting it faster than you, and you wonder what’s wrong with you. Why can’t you be like them?
Well for every time you wish to be someone else, someone else wishes they could be more like you. Someone else finds a trait that you possess that they admire, and wished they could have.
I wished I could be as charismatic and energetic as Cindy Ashton was when she took the mic as the featured speaker for the WE luncheon, and gave a mind blowing presentation on valuing your unique self. But she’s a professional speaker and performer, with a beautiful singing voice. The stage is her element, her natural environment to shine.
And as for me and my environment?
I’m bookish. I love words. Art. The blank page is my element. My canvas to create something out of nothing.
The stage is not my natural element. But I got up anyway. Because I wanted to help people, and I shouldn’t keep my knowledge in just because I’m afraid of looking stupid.
And Cindy? She wrote a book. Even though she’s not a natural writer. Because it was going to help people overcome their limitations. Because she had knowledge that needed to also be shared.
And sometimes, that’s why we do things that we’re scared of. Or not good at. That makes us feel vulnerable and hyperventilate in the morning.
Because we think that we’ll help someone. And I think, at that luncheon, even if it was for just ten minutes, I did.
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